unexpected relevancy

does your friend ever play you a song out of the blue by someone you've never heard of before? does that song become your livelihood because the band unknowingly drew such an accurate sketch of your life? do you ever forget the feeling you had as the lyrics unfolded in your head and you realized they were that one thought you could never process until now?

meet mother mother, because they are that band.

today i went for an honest-to-goodness run for the first time in what felt like forever. it's always best to go when you have company so you don't feel like you're running away and falling apart. admittedly i was a bit out of shape, and soon my breaths felt like my diaphragm was lifted by nail scissors instead of necessity. my company was patient and my muscles were set on reaching the end of the path, so i kept on, and three kilometres later i felt like an old self again.

running is one of those things where the first thought in your mind as you pick it back up is why did i even begin? and the last thought in your mind as you take the last stride, get just past the top of the hill is why did i ever stop?

i think this is one small addiction my brain treats with cool detachment. i feel bound to it by some obligation even though i doubt i qualify as a runner. that may or may not change in the future but i try and remember now and again that i'd like to be better at it.

in case anyone was wondering, yes, we did run through the splash pad and get soaking wet on the way back after we hit the three kilometre mark. and yes it was fun to feel like i was six again.

after the run (and successively, the splash pad), i changed my shirt, piled my hair atop my head and wore my toms for the rest of the day. i haven't had those shoes for long but they're beyond worn in already and wearing them is like getting a hug from a grandparent. comfortable and familiar. it was approaching summer temperatures outside, and that's where we spent the rest of the day - just milling about, walking around, buying snacks, creeping the odd person and laughing when there was nothing and everything to laugh at.

i complain a lot but i really appreciate where i live. i may feel small town now and again but in reality it's actually big enough for a lot of things other places are too small for. and those are things i would miss doing if we moved.

i was in a play on friday night. it was several months and several days in the making all at the same time. there were cheerleading costumes, wigs, separate sets, singing, stage makeup and way too many other things all together paired with lights so bright i wanted to forget who i was. it went over rather hitch-free and i'd almost had a blast despite the stress inflicted by other cast members and a day full of rehearsals and re-blocking and lost props.

i want to be in a play based on this picture. i want to be the person behind and who painted the sign.

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i want to be in an acting crew who travels around and makes a name for themselves and runs the entire show out of an old, fixed-up moving truck we would attack again and again with dry erase markers to emblazon it with quotes as we saw fit.

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i want to look back on my life, my performances, and my actions and know that i didn't make excuses. i want to look back and know i did my best to change a small part of the world.

what do you want? have you acheived it yet?